Overhead: enough

Tahnyon kept playing with umbrellas, coolers, pretty much anything he wasn't supposed to play with in the car. After asking him at least 10 times to stop...
Me: "Tahnyon, that's enough."
Tahn: "No it's not. I gon-ga be talking to you the whole day. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.... See, it's easy?!"
Little stinker.

Live without pretending

Snippets from our day...
-By the end of the day today, I had chocolate on my shoulder from consoling one sad little girl. My hair never got done. I didn't get to shower and my feet are black.
-For over half of the day there was jam everywhere you looked in my kitchen.
-Now there are 13 jars of jam waiting to be put away just sitting on my counter.
-One little girl stayed in her pajamas all day.
-Until she ran around outside without her shirt on because her brothers were.
-And then she ditched the shorts too.
-That same little girl had bloody toes from refusing to wear her shoes outside.
-One little boy went through 3 outfits because he got all of them wet playing with the hose that he wasn't supposed to be playing with.
-That same little boy had to be spanked today and cried himself to sleep.
-We cleaned up ALL the toys in the playroom twice.
-While mowing the lawn, I had to stop no less than 50 times for various things... a crying little girl, stuck fingers, a story about what happened at school, flip flops that kept appearing in my path, rocks that had been dumped in the grass out of one little boy's favorite yellow dump truck, fire ant bites, praises for tree climbing, a pair of glasses that were about to get broke, tricks on the tramp, arguments, etc
-One not-so-little-anymore boy ripped some newish pants while climbing trees. But he also got much higher than ever before.
-That same boy got to feel his baby brother kick today.
-I am on day 4 of NO yelling.
-Our little miss fell down the stairs again.
-The little boy also put two holes in two different screens.
-We ate dinner outside. Sitting on the cement. With filthy hands. While attempting to have a belated FHE.
-My pregnant brain didn't put the butter dish back where it goes and now it's completely lost.
-There was a little bum crack poking out at me while a little boy bent over to look at bugs and search for a 'really huge snake' that he was sure he saw hiding by a tree.
-My butt went numb sitting on the floor waiting for somebody to go to sleep.
-Soccer has taken over our life and has resulted in canceled dates and temple plans twice now.
-My 'spotless yesterday' house is... not so spotless anymore.
-The clothes hamper is full again. It's only been 2 days.
-I had a tiny foot or hand jabbing me in one specific spot all. day. long.
I'm exhausted. But I'm keeping it in perspective. Because all of these little things are what make us us. And they are my life.
Yah. My life is a BEAUTIFUL MESS. And I kind of love it.

Baby #4...

Has sure thrown me for a loop.
Since we decided to wait to tell our parents or anyone else until I was quite far along, and because this will most likely be my last pregnancy, I have been writing all of this down as we go so it's kind of like talking to my mom and for the memories...

-I almost got our electricity disconnected in the middle of January... The coldest it's been here. The same day a cat froze to death on our lawn.
-I just flat out forgot to tell my primary kids they would be singing in sacrament the next Sunday.
-I literally did not change out of the same pajamas three days in a row. I didn't even brush my hair. I did brush my teeth without throwing up.
-Not entirely sure we can blame this on pregnancy but Tahnyon nearly severed his finger with a kitchen knife resulting in a surgery and thousands of dollars in hospital bills. I was one frantic pregnant mommy when I saw all that blood and a finger hanging off. So much so, that Nate thought we should have them check the baby out while we were at the hospital. The panic... THAT, I can blame on baby #4.
-Merely pinning food on Pinterest throws me into dry heaves.
-And on top of that, if I happen to be looking at pictures of something (like quinoa) I can smell it. Like overwhelmingly so.
-I've been so much 'sicker' this time that Nate is sure I'm having twins.
-My Christmas wreaths didn't come down until Jan 29.
-I started regularly going to bed before 10:00. You know it's bad when Stacia's asleep before midnight.
-I told Nate one night while I was trying to decide what to make for dinner... "I just want to throw up and then eat all the food at all the restaurants-is that too much to ask?" Then an hour or so later I ate an ENTIRE foot long sub by myself. That's a lot of food, folks!
-I wake up sobbing often. I have CRAZY nightmares when I'm pregnant. And now I've developed this irrational fear of riding in the same car as my kids, Nate, and my parents lest we get in an accident and I am the only one to survive.
-Arahlee's b-day came and went without a huge party. You know I love a good party. But I still wasn't feeling great, had no energy, and decided that since she doesn't really have friends to invite it would be ok to forgo the big party.
-Tayv & I had his valentines planned out for a month. The night before he needed them I still hadn't worked on them much and had no desire to do them. He did make it to school with Valentines though. :)
-The many times I almost fell asleep driving after 2 minutes because I'm now ALWAYS uncharacteristically tired.
-The two glucose tests I failed.
-The day I found out that I wouldn't get to use my beautiful baby girl name that I have been fixated on.

Of course there's been plenty of good...
-like when my VT brought me brownies because Nate was out of town and Tahn's dr appt turned out to be a useless waste of time and money. And she didn't know I was pregnant or that I had been craving brownies that day.
-When we told the kids and Tayvin wouldn't stop talking about and to the baby for... Well, he still hasn't stopped. :)
-When Aree, Tahn, and I played on the tramp with balls in our shirts while they talked all about having babies in their bellies.
-When Nate held me night after night because I was so sick and just wanted to die.
-when Nate refused when I asked him to just shoot me now. Guess I didn't actually want him to.
-Cherry luden cough drops.
-When I discovered that Frozen gogurt (which i normally despise) helped my stomach and the kids thought I was the coolest for letting them eat three in one sitting all because mommy needed to.
-The night I ate two, almost three, ice cream sandwiches because, surprise , I can stomach those too.
-Feb 19th- the day I got to see my baby for the first time. And he/she waved at me. I'm not even kidding. It's hand was up by its mouth and then it started waving and didn't stop for a good ten seconds. It was the cutest. I also found out that day that my lump is completely gone and we don't have to worry about that anymore.
-The day we found out we're getting another sweet little boy. And most of all, that he's healthy.