Family Pics Oct 2011

I've basically decided to give up on family pictures. At least until I'm skinny (er). But here they are anyway.

I was a nanny for a family for over five years. But not just any family. They are by far one of the best families I've ever known. When I started working for them, the kids were 12, 9, & 7.  Their father had passed away just a year and a half before that but they were doing amazingly well.  Their mother had to travel a lot so I got to be with them for many evenings. I also lived in their basement apartment for five of those years so we got to be pretty close. The kids are Tayvin's 'cousins' and the mom is his aunt.  I saw the oldest start and finish Jr. High, start and finish High school, start his amazing running 'career,' excel in soccer, and start school at Dartmouth.  I saw K through a few years of elementary school, junior high, start high school, and begin HER amazing running career. She's almost 17 now! And the youngest, Peanut. I was there as he went through elementary school, junior high, started scouts, and is learning to drive.  I can't believe how fast they've grown. But as shocking as it is to me, what really amazes me is what a strong, tight-knit family they are.  I can't even count how many people they were close to that died while I was living there. And I can't even describe how strong and brave they were each time.
Just a few days ago, K's best friend died in a tragic accident and I know she's hurting. When I heard, all I wanted to do was go home and cry. Cry for her, for her loss, for all those who knew those that were in the accident, and cry because I know she's in a better place. There have been so many young people dying lately, I really feel like our Father in Heaven needs them and their noble spirits. I'm so grateful for the knowledge I have that there is life after death, that we can be with our family and friends again,  that our Father in Heaven loves us and doesn't give us more than we can handle, that our brother-our Savior- has felt EVERYTHING we've felt and is with us as we go through trials.
K-Our prayers are with you and I know you will make it through this! One day at a time, one hour at a time, it will start to hurt less and less. We love you!

Some days...

Most days I feel like I have things put together. Except when...
-I look around and discover that in less than 24 hours my house has gone from exceptionally clean for having two children 3 and under to piles everywhere you look.
-I take Tayvin to the dentist to find out we were actually supposed to be flossing his (incredibly soft) teeth and we will now have to put him under in order to fix his seven cavities!
-I clean out the fridge to discover food that has been in there for at least 2 months.
-I see that Tayvin's chore list I printed in November has 4 days filled out.
-I think about the 5 loads of laundry I just did 3 days ago and then think about the 5 I have to do tomorrow.
-I look at the bathtub.
-I think of hospital bills.
-I look in the mirror.
-I look at my bank account.
-I go to my basement.
-I try to find something in my basement.
-I look at my inbox that now holds over 2500 unread email messages.
-I hear my child crying in bed because he doesn't want to go to sleep by himself tonight.
-I mourn the loss of the race I SO wanted to run this year.

And then feel like maybe I am doing something right when...
-I look at the pictures on the wall of my healthy, happy, beautiful children.
-I peek into the nursery to see my angel baby wrapped up and sleeping peacefully.
-I think of the laughter and smiles I was treated with from both of my sweet boys today.
-I realize how blessed I am to have insurance.
-I think of what my amazing husband said to me yesterday.
-I remember that everything we have, we have worked for.
-I think of our 401k (22% return this year, baby!)
-I think of all the unfortunate people who don't have homes to sleep in tonight while I am in my warm, beautiful home.
-I calculate the amount of money our education has cost us and how worth it every penny has been.
-I remember the feeling of contenment we have recognized almost on a daily basis.
-I attempt to calculate the value of being flexible and just choose a different race.
-I drink a glass of clean water, and know I can drink as much as I want.
-I remember that I am sealed to my family forever and nothing or nobody can take that away from me but me.