Happy Me

A few things that make me happy today....

• We got to spend an entire week of evenings with daddy! No school, no church meetings, just us.
• Only 5.5 more hours until our favorite time of day begins... when Nate pulls in the driveway.
• For the 2nd week in a row, Nate will be here to run family night instead of Tayv & I doing it ourselves.
• Tahn's chubby little flinstone feet that won't fit into any shoes.
• The image of Tayv waving goodbye with a look of love on his face as I dropped him off at school.
• Aree's tiny feet, tiny painted toenails, and beautiful big smile.
• The possiblity of a lightning storm.
• Cute little fingerprints on my newly washed windows and fridge.
• The sound of giggling then fighting then giggling brothers at 6 am.

Find some of your own happys today!

Happy Birthday you.

I don't do b-day posts. Just so you know. Today is the exception. But it still won't be mushy. :)

Happy birthday babe, I'm SO glad you were born!!!

From Tayv: "I wish that you could be here for your party today cause I would love to see you at your party. It's a bummer we don't get to see you. Happy Birthday and.... and.... happy birthday party. I miss you!"

From Tahn: "Da-da! Da-da! Hi!"

Just so you know....

Nate went back to school this week. (Ok, it was last week but Tayv was gone so it's been a bigger adjustment this week.) And Tayv will start school next week. I'm exhausted and the kids just want their daddy. So.... blog update to come... in two years or so. :)

13 miles and counting...

One day I hope to write a more lengthy, detailed version of this post but for now, since I'm on borrowed time, this will have to do.
It's been almost two weeks since we completed our half marathon and the euphoria still hasn't worn off.
I was a couple months pregnant and just getting into running again when I decided I would need a goal to get me back on track after I had the baby. Long story short, we ended up at Bear Lake on June 12th ready to run just over 13 miles. Ok, ready may be a bit of an overstatement. We really hadn't trained very consistently, I was throwing up the day before and had the worst stomach cramps I've ever experienced, and it was rainy. 
I had two goals for the race:
-finish under 3 hours (which is an immense amount of time, I realize. Please don't make fun of me.)
-run the entire way-NO WALKING!
 I DID IT!
I don't expect you to be as excited as I am about it. Heck, you don't even have to read this post if you don't want to. But I would suggest something like this to ANYONE. Aside from childbirth I've never done anything more enabling. Since I had Tahn, I've been toying with the idea of having my next baby without any medication since that's actually an option for me now. But honestly, I wasn't sure I could do it. After finishing that race, still standing, and thinking I could have made myself run a few more miles, I feel like I can do anything I put my mind to. So if you happen to be looking for a little inspiration in your life, I recommend 13 miles and then some. :) For us, there will be many, many more.

P.S. Shot blocks are AMAZING. In case you were wondering.
P.P.S. And even more amazing is my sweet, sweet husband who slowed down so he could push me the entire way. Thanks Babe!

Overheard: A new one

2 weeks ago, our ward was split. So as you can imagine, there are a lot of new callings being issued.  And my sweet husband who is always willing to serve, was called to be the Young Men's president.  I'm choosing to completely leave out my opinion on it because my feelings haven't yet reached a level that I'm comfortable with.  But I will tell you this... before we went into church on Sunday, I sat in the car with Tayv so we could talk about what's happening in our lives.  We talked about the change of daddy going to school and how his new calling would mean that he'd be around even less. That while we thought we would have weekends with him, that may not be the case now.
 Tayv: "But won't we be sad?"
 Me: "Yah, we'll be sad but we'll also be happy too because we'll know that daddy is serving Heavenly Father and helping people."
 Tayv: "Yah that's true." And then, (very apprehensively) "Well, do you think we should get a new one?"
 Me: "A new what?"
 Tayv: "A new daddy."

I realize this sounds very sad. And it was, it made me cry. I debated whether or not I should tell Nate but when I did, he thought it was hilarious. I'm sure it made him a little sad but he insisted I post it here. 

And just in case you were wondering, there will be no new daddy getting around here.

Change

Our number one goal in moving to Utah (besides being closer to family for a little while) was for Nate to get his MBA.  Although it didn't turn out quite like we had planned,  we will acheive that goal... 4 years after we moved here.  Nate will be starting the Professional MBA program at the U this August. It was a hard decision for us to make, but especially Nate. For the first three years of our marriage, we were both in school. Then we lived in different states for a few months.  We had Tayvin just over a year after we got married. Thus, Nate missed the first two years of his life.  So you can understand why he wouldn't want to repeat that with Tahnyon and our next baby.  But it's what he loves, it's what he needs, and it will be good for us....in the end. I try not to think about the 80 plus hours a week he'll be gone, the dinners eaten alone, the fact that Tayv will attend preschool and kindergarten while Nate is away at school, the summers we'll enjoy while Nate is in class, the missed steps, words, and milestones of Tahn's, going through pregnancy alone, etc.
Instead, I picture Nate's face when he talks about school and that's all I need.

Today is one of those days I wish I drank. It's not a feeling I get too often. I messed up tonight-big time. I make mistakes all the time but this was one of those eat you up inside, can't stop crying, wish with everything you have that you could go back and change it. I'm one of those people who doesn't regret anything. I can always find something that was learned from a mistake and be glad that it happened so I could learn the lesson. And there was a lesson to be learned-I think. But I'd still take it back.  The worst part is, I was just trying to serve others and serve my Lord. So I'm not even sure if what I did was wrong-but it hurt so it must be, right?  And is it fair for me to hold others to the same high standards I try to hold myself to?
And my sweet, sweet, Tayvin.  It'd been a long day. I offered to take dinner to a lady that just moved in down the street a few weeks ago and had a baby last week. I burnt it.  I rarely cry, but that set me off-I was just trying to be nice. Tayv heard me crying. When he wouldn't take "for a lot of reasons" as the answer to his question of why I was sad, I told him because I burnt the dinner. "Don't worry mommy, I'll make it not burnt with my magic!" Then I let him come with me to deliver it and the whole way he kept saying, "Ok, so we'll take them this dinner and these cookies then you won't be sad anymore?" :)
Skip ahead several hours after I messed up royally- Tayvin caught me crying and just kept asking, "Mommy why are you sad?" He refused to get back in bed or do anything else until he knew.  I told him I was sad because I made a bad choice. I wasn't here when Tahn (who is sick) needed me, I wasn't here when daddy (who is also sick) needed to get some sleep and had to take care of the boys, and I wasn't here to see Tayvin's cool fort he built with daddy. His response? He covered my mouth so I couldn't cry anymore and told me, "Don't worry mommy, please don't be sad, I'll build another one for you to see tomorrow."  Why am I so blessed with such a sweet and forgiving little angel?

Oh yah... sorry babe!

I'll be honest, I've got so much to do right now that I either don't feel like doing or don't have the time to do, that the idea of posting about our anniversary last week didn't EVER cross my mind.... until I checked Autumn's blog tonight. Then I felt a little guilty. Then I remembered that there are many strangers out there that read this blog 3 times more often than Nate. But anyway, Happy Anniversary Babe-can't wait for that cruise next year!

A few things I’m loving, hating, and thinking about…

I know I said 2 weeks ago that I’d be posting but then I misplaced my memory card for my camera , we all got sick, Nate’s 96 year old Aunt fell, and family came into town. So once things calm down, I find my memory card or charge the batteries for my other camera, I promise I will post pictures. In the meantime, here are a few things I’m….

Loving…

• Listening to Tayv talk to his baby brother.
• When Tayv tells me all the things he’s going to teach his brother
• That Tayv made his bed twice today by himself for the first time. (And then didn’t want to get in it for his nap or bedtime because he had already made it! I have no idea where he gets that from by the way.)
• My new fridge that gives me crushed ice at my beckon call.
• Watermelon
• The fact that I will have a nursery this time around!
• Our new ward
• That if everything continues as it is I won't get anywhere near the weight I was when I was pregnant with Tayvin.
• My new washer & dryer that I still intend to post pictures of… someday…
• Air conditioning
• That I have a reason to eat every 2-3 hours.
• All the tiny baby socks (and clothes) that I’ve been washing!

Hating….

• That I have to pee almost as often as I blink.
• That I HAVE to eat every 2-3 hours.
• Waking up in our new, quiet house with no weird curry, Mexican, or other smells to make me sick for the rest of the day.
• How long & hard Nate is having to work until they hire another person.
• Most of my maternity clothes.
• That even though we have our very own yard, it’s still not big enough to get Tayvin the playground set he’s been drooling over at Costco for as long as he could talk.
• That we can’t afford to all go to Alaska for a visit during the summer but Nate refuses to go without us.
• That in a few weeks Nate is going to Florida and I just can’t justify going with him.
• Iron pills, heartburn, and down comforters

Thinking about…

• How it’s so not fair that when Nate was sick he just took some Nyquil to knock him out but even though I can never sleep anymore I just have to live with it. Oh well, good practice I guess!
• Trying to figure out why nobody laughed or even commented on my "Got Pickles?" shirt the other day. I mean, come on people, this is Utah county-this is what you do-make babies!
• The birthday invitations and 50ish baby announcements that I haven’t made or designed yet. (I’m thinking Costco again….)
• How I'm SO not ready for the exhaustion that comes with a new baby but can't wait to hold him...
• That I'm still not completely convinced that we're having another boy even though that's what we saw-just seems off.
• That I'm still stretch-mark free but probably jinxing myself by watching so closely.
• Peanut butter Cyclops cookies, Texas sheet cake, homemade caramels, marshmallow popcorn, ok, what sweets am I not thinking of?