I feel something should probably be documented about this pregnancy. And being that I still have not taken a single belly picture, this will have to do. Oh, and since I got in trouble for not letting either of my sisters know what is going on, here's the latest....

Around 32 weeks I was diagnosed with preeclampsia. It is considered a mild case but regardless, my dr won't let me go past 38 weeks. Of course, I already felt like it was coming way too soon so I was not thrilled with the idea of her coming early. In the meantime, I go have NSTs twice a week, an ultrasound once a week, bloodwork and other tests done once a week, and a dr's appt once a week. Super, huh?  There have been a few little scares here and there but when Little Miss was measured via ultrasound at 34 weeks she was around 4 lbs 5 oz and healthy. I was given steroid shots to help her lungs develop in case I don't make it to 38 weeks.  Since I have had a c-section previously, my dr won't start me but he did say he would strip my membranes twice that week  and then break my water to see if my body would do anything. If not, I will have to have a c-section. Nate will be out of town training a new hire that week so hopefully she'll wait until he gets back! Until this pregnancy I loved being pregnant. I don't know if it's the fact that it's a different gender, the lack of recovery time in between pregnancies, or that I'm getting older but this one has just been difficult. I hate to say it, but I'll be glad when it's over. 
I cannot wait to meet this little miss, hold her in my arms, and paint her fingernails. :) Tayv is so excited to have a little sister and Tahn repeatedly pats my belly while saying baby. It makes my heart happy.
Mostly, I'm just grateful right now to know that things will work out the way they're supposed to when they are supposed to. We've been so blessed with healthy, happy children and are at peace with how this baby is developing and all that has happened.

It's Christmas Night...

It's Christmas Night

By: Max Lucado

It’s Christmas night. The house is quiet. Even the crackle is gone from the fireplace. Warm coals issue a lighthouse glow in the darkened den. Stockings hang empty on the mantle. The tree stands naked in the corner. Christmas cards, tinsel, and memories remind Christmas night of Christmas day.

It’s Christmas night. What a day it has been! Spiced tea. Santa Claus. Cranberry sauce. “Thank you, so much.” “You shouldn’t have!” “Grandma is on the phone.” Knee-deep wrapping paper. “It just fits.” Flashing cameras. It’s Christmas night. The girls are in bed. Jenna dreams of her talking Big Bird and clutches her new purse. Andrea sleeps in her new Santa pajamas. It’s Christmas night. The tree that only yesterday grew from soil made of gifts, again grows from the Christmas tree stand. Presents are now possessions. Wrapping paper is bagged and in the dumpsite. The dishes are washed and leftover turkey awaits next week’s sandwiches.

It’s Christmas night. The last of the carolers appeared on the ten o’clock news. The last of the apple pie was eaten by my brother-in-law. And the last of the Christmas albums have been stored away having dutifully performed their annual rendition of chestnuts, white Christmases, and red-nosed reindeer.

It’s Christmas night.

The midnight hour has chimed and I should be asleep, but I’m awake. I’m kept awake by one stunning thought. The world was different this week. It was temporarily transformed. The magical dust of Christmas glittered on the cheeks of humanity ever so briefly, reminding us of what is worth having and what we were intended to be. We forgot our compulsion with winning, wooing, and warring. We put away our ladders and ledgers, we hung up our stop watches and weapons. We stepped off our racetracks and roller coasters and looked outward toward the star of Bethlehem.

It’s the season to be jolly because, more than at any other time, we think of him. More than in any other season, his name is on our lips. And the result? For a few precious hours our heavenly yearnings intermesh and we become a chorus. A ragtag chorus of longshoremen, Boston lawyers, illegal immigrants, housewives, and a thousand other peculiar persons who are banking that Bethlehem’s mystery is in reality, a reality. “Come and behold him” we sing, stirring even the sleepiest of shepherds and pointing them toward the Christ-child.

For a few precious hours, he is beheld. Christ the Lord. Those who pass the year without seeing him, suddenly see him. People who have been accustomed to using his name in vain, pause to use it in praise. Eyes, now free of the blinders of self, marvel at his majesty. All of a sudden he’s everywhere. In the grin of the policeman as he drives his paddy wagon full of presents to the orphanage.

In the twinkle in the eyes of the Taiwanese waiter as he tells of his upcoming Christmas trip to see his children. In the emotion of the father who is too thankful to finish the dinner table prayer. He’s in the tears of the mother as she welcomes home her son from overseas. He’s in the heart of the man who spent Christmas morning on skid row giving away cold baloney sandwiches and warm wishes. And he’s in the solemn silence of the crowd of shopping mall shoppers as the elementary school chorus sings “Away in a Manger.” Emmanuel. He is with us. God came near.

It’s Christmas night. In a few hours the cleanup will begin — lights will come down, trees will be thrown out. Size 36 will be exchanged for size 40, eggnog will be on sale for half-price. Soon life will be normal again. December’s generosity will become January’s payments and the magic will begin to fade. But for the moment, the magic is still in the air. Maybe that’s why I’m still awake. I want to savor the spirit just a bit more. I want to pray that those who beheld him today will look for him next August. And I can’t help but linger on one fanciful thought: if he can do so much with such timid prayers lamely offered in December, how much more could he do if we thought of him every day?

Merry Christmas! May joy, love, laughter, and most importantly, the love of our Savior be with you now and always!

Overheard: Christmas Shirts

In my closet...
Tayv: "Wow Mom, that's a really nice Christmas shirt you have. That one with the snowman."
Me: "Thanks pal."
Tayv: "Do you know what would be even more revrenter though?"
Me: (snickering) "What?"
Tayv: "A Christmas shirt with Jesus on it."

He's been telling me almost on a daily basis that "Jesus is THE MOST important thing about Christmas!"  All this time I thought he was trying to convince himself. Apparently not. :)

Overheard: Camping with a girl...

I walked into Tayv's room where he and Tahn were playing this morning and asked what was going on. The conversation that ensued...
Tayv: "Oh, I'm just telling myself a story about a dream I had about camping with a girl."
Mom: "Oh?"
Tayv: "Yah, and guess what? It was so deep that not everybody could swim out of the swimming pool. So I carried her out."
Mom: "Wow. That was sweet of you. You were camping with a girl?"
Tayv: "Yah. But I really should just camp with boys huh?"
Mom: "Um, probably. Unless your mom is there."
Tayv: "Oh, well Tahn and Daddy were there swimming with us too."
Mom: "That's good!"

It continued from there but this is the part I really want to remember. :)

Our Christmas Card....

I'm only sending out a few Christmas cards this year so you probably won't get one. But in case you were wondering what it says....

"Our Christmas Letter/gift to you..."

"I've gained weight, Nate's going gray, & our kids are average. Merry Christmas!"

I realize not everybody gets my sense of humor. So if you don't think it's funny, that's ok. Because I'm amused with it and it's a Christmas letter Nate can live with. :)

Wishing you the happiest of Christmases and a new year full of laughter and joy!

Overheard: Jesus

Out of the blue this morning...

Tayvin: "Mom, I'm glad that Jesus died for us but I'm really sad I didn't get to see him. Ya know? While he was preaching."

My favorite running song just came on. Made me actually want to run. Perhaps now that I'm 5 months pregnant it's time to start running again? 
Ok, maybe not. It's too cold outside. But would anybody like to join me on a run the 3rd week in March? :)

A Shark Party

Birthday Party #1

It started under the sea....

There was a hungry shark....

We went fishing for prizes....

And played "Pin the Fin on the Shark..."

"And Minnow, Minnow, Shark..."

There were shark cupcakes.... 

                                    

                                        

And one happy Birthday Boy....

With 4 candles on his cupcake....

And a new 'Lava Man' Bike....

First Day of Preschool

                                                 

This little monkey...

is called monkey because he
-sometimes crawls on his fists
-resembles a monkey
But most of all because he....
-will down a large banana in less than two minutes
-will eat as many bananas as I'll let him.
-climbs on EVERYTHING (including window sills, up to the table or counter, drawers)
-climbs two flights of stairs in less than 30 seconds.
Love my monkey boy.

This tender little heart....

I've always struggled to describe Tayvin's tender little heart. He is what I need when I'm upset because he can give the most innocent compassion. My mom has always told me that I was the same way and I feel like, unfortunately, I've let the world get to me and corrupt it. When I see somebody hurt or embarrassed or in need, I hurt with them. And I WANT to do something. But I over analyze and can't decide what to do. So I do nothing. But not my sweet Tayv.... he just doesn't care what others think. Tonight reminded me of his innocent heart of gold.
We were watching Toy Story 3 when all of the sudden he just started crying. I say crying but it was really hysterical bawling. He couldn't stop, he couldn't breathe, and he had no idea what was wrong. 10 minutes later when I got him calmed down, he finally figured out what was wrong. He was sad "because the baby in the movie wanted it's mommy and didn't get her."  :)
It made me want to cry thinking about what the world will probably do to my sweet little boy. So now I'm on a mission. More than I ever have been, to make sure that he is always confident enough to really care about people and to use this gift he's been given.

Clarity

There have been a few things that have happened within the last few months that spurred on my 'attitude thinking.'  A couple of which were major, life-changing boulders thrown into our path. Nate and I are planners. We don't just fly by the seat of our pants when it comes to our life plans. We've always felt like we needed to work hard, make a plan, and try to do what is right. Beyond that, if we're not headed in the direction we're supposed to be, the man upstairs will let us know.  And let us know He did. In very mind-boggling, blind siding ways that we never expected.  So we've had choices to make. Not so much choices about these changes but choices about how we're going to react.  I feel like some days we choose the better way and some days we fail miserably. We've also had friends and family members that have had issues come up. And it led me to thinking. Not just about how our attitudes affect outcome but also what determines our attitudes. Because let's face it, as much as we talk about having a better attitude, it's not always that easy. Some people are given great attitudes as a gift, some learn it while they're young, some work hard to obtain it, and some just don't care.  It occurred to me tonight one of the major factors of attitude: Entitlement. We all feel entitled to something. Some of us more or less than others. Some of us feel entitled to hand-outs, to work, to not work, to help, to happiness, to be miserable, to everything our parents have, and the list goes on.  But what really struck me is this: LIFE IS NOT MEANT TO BE EASY! Not only is life meant to be a learning experience, but it's meant to be hard. That is how we learn. The majority of our days should not automatically bring happiness. We are asked to work at it, to find happiness in small things, and to CHOOSE to be happy.  We are meant to sacrifice many things, to be tired at the end of the day, to feel sometimes like we're paddling upstream, and in the midst of all of this, recognize that we are learning, growing, and drawing nearer to the one who sacrificed everything for us. So right now, I'm okay that life isn't easy. I just may need to remind myself again tomorrow. :)

Reflection

Yesterday I spent most of the day just fighting back tears.  As I was cleaning my kitchen for what seemed like the umpteenth time in the last week, I was starting to lose the battle with these blasted emotions. 
And then I...
- Looked up at this sweet face waiting so patiently in his high chair for me to wash his hands.

 -Remembered my resolve to make sure my attitude was one that my Father in Heaven would be pleased with. One that I would want my children to imitate on a regular basis.
-Thought about the service, however small, I've been able to render recently.
-Smiled at the good report I received from Tayvin's teacher today.
-Heard my husband coming down the stairs and thought about how grateful I am that we got to eat dinner with him.
-Heard music in the background and let myself sing.
-Felt the warmth on my feet and was overwhelmed with gratitude for a warm home.
-Felt one tiny baby kick my bladder and ran to the bathroom grateful for running water.

And again, I was amazed. Amazed by the blessings in my life, the fact that my entire evening was changed by a few moments of reflection, and how much my Father in Heaven loves me.

Do you know what this cute, pink, tiny cowboy boot means?

We'll be adding a sweet little cowgirl to our family!

Nate is thrilled, I'm scared, and Tayv is confused.

He wanted a girl SO badly but also decided that Tahnyon should get to have a little brother like he does. He also says I'm having a girl puppy since my belly isn't big enough to have a baby. :)

Grateful

I've been thinking lately about how differently our attitudes affect the outcome of situations and how they affect our view on our lives. So I've been working on my attitude. :) Since I don't write in my journal, I'll be documenting here my feelings and most especially the things I'm grateful for...

Today, I am grateful for these sweet spirits that my Father in Heaven has entrusted me with and for all that I've learned from the amazing experience of being a mother.  I'm also grateful for the sweet baby that is on it's way to our family.